Que the old country song “D-I-V-O-R-C-E” song by Tammy Wynette.
Its 2017 people please don’t preach to me about how I should have stayed and made it work, and saved my marriage. I refuse to believe that I should have stayed with someone who sucked the life out of me. Who I did everything for but now looking back I was just an enabler to his addictions. I left to better myself so I can grow because, after 6 years, I damn sure wasn’t getting anywhere.
Together for 6 years. That’s pretty good…. Meaning I didn’t run when things started getting hard. I tried and tried, I supported, I encouraged, I maintained a household to the best of my ability. I was young also so I was still trying to figure shit out about and for myself all while trying to help someone find and figure their shit out. It was hard but enough was enough.
I do not intend in any way to speak negatively about my ex husband. I look at him as a lesson in life. I wish him the best, and I hope he opens are restaurant that I will someday visit because he is a damn good chef. But, I believe he needed something more than I could give him. I owe all my cooking skills to him even though we could never be in the kitchen together.
Going through the divorce and heartache was incredibly hard. And to top it off was the brutal abusive relationship I jumped into right after that has forever changed me has a person. I have grown and learned that I NEED NO MAN, BUT a good one is nice to have around. I did stupid and hurtful things after the divorce. I did worse things than the normal girl who just runs out and chops her hair off and hits the gym daily for that revenge body. But I learned from it.
The guilt was the hard part. I went through months of blaming myself, and had many bottles of wine. What I blamed myself for the most is that I knew my ex was struggling. Through pain, heartache, trying to figure out how to pay bills, where to live, etc. but I had to be strong because as soon as I called it quits this gigantic weight I was carrying fell off. I had to work through the guilt and I still struggle with it sometimes.
If you are going through or end up leaving a marriage know that you are not alone. Know that it happens and people are there to help you. Reach out to me, a parent or friend. Most wont know what to say but they will listen. Do your best to get up every day and still conquer the world even though you feel it’s crumbling around you. It will be one of the hardest and longest lasting things you will have to deal with. Once you get over that (your separating) then its time to file the paperwork. Once you get over the shock of “holy shit this is actually happening” you have to meet up with your lawyer/paralegal and sign the papers. You have to do all of this while most of the time still conversing with your now ex. Its f-ing hard!!!
BUT….I am here to tell you that divorce is not a bad thing and you should do it for YOUR Happiness! I don’t care if the rest of your family loves him or whatever other excuse that comes up. Make sure you are happy. You have one life! Enjoy it and take care of yourself. You do you boo boo!